Friday Five

1. Today I read this post on Stereogum about Tori Amos’ Little Earthquakes turning 20 this year. First of all, yikes, 20 years?! I remember reading about Tori in an issue of Sassy Magazine, not long after Little Earthquakes came out. And then she was my first real grown-up concert with no parents along. I’m not a Tori superfan or anything, but I did love her first couple of albums. So I listened to LE on Spotify at my desk this afternoon, and it was still fantastic. It is one of those albums that, in this age of digital randomization, I cannot fathom hearing with the songs out of order. It’s a work of art; you have to listen to it straight through!

2. Incidentally, I went to high school with the dude who wrote that post. I was SO TERRIFIED of him, because he was all tall and cool and into music and everything. I sat behind him in bio my sophomore year, and one day this other kid who sat next to him asked me what kind of music I listened to and I mumbled “you know…music” because inside I was like “OMFGFGFG you cannot talk about music in front of him!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t say anything stoooopid!” Yes, it was exhausting being me as a teenager. Anyway…apparently I could have just said that I liked Tori Amos, and then we could have talked about our feelings and stuff. Sigh.

3. I totally forgot that this is three day weekend. Very excited about that.

4. I woke up at 4:45 every morning except one this week to write. It worked out pretty well. I think I’m going to keep doing it, but I need to work in a couple of longer writing sessions during the evening or weekend too, because I just can’t get out much more than 500 words during my morning hour.

5. Yesterday morning I was reading Catching Fire as I was nursing my daughter, when I got to the part where they announced the Quarter Quell stuff. I was shocked at the thought of Katniss and Peeta having to go back to the Hunger Games. So shocked that I actually said “Oh Shit!!” out loud. The baby looked at me like “What the hell is your problem, milk lady?” I told her that the book is too scary for babies, and I would explain it to her when she’s older.

Tags: Friday Five

Finding the time

Finding the time to write is getting really difficult. Now that the baby is eating solids in the morning, attending to her needs is taking up a 90 minute block before work. On one hand, I love it, because I get to spend more time with her. On the other hand, it sucks, because now I have to wake up at 4:45 (!) if I want to get in an hour of writing and have a prayer of making it to work on time. I’ve done it twice; the day I did it last week was fine, except that I overslept by a lot the following morning because I was exhausted. I did it again this morning–so far so good, although I am super tired.

My other option is writing in the evening, but for some reason, that is just not attractive to me. I feel like my brain doesn’t work as well at night. I’ve thought about taking one night per week and heading out to the local 24-hour coffee shop right after the baby goes to sleep to get in a good 3 or 4 hour writing session. But I don’t know…I like my evenings at home and the thought of having to come back and pump and then wash my pumping parts and bottles before I can go to bed…it all sounds very exhausting. And I don’t know what’s more productive for me: having an hour for writing everyday or having one or two longer writing sessions per week. UGH. I also need to figure out how to fit exercise into my life, because my pants are getting tight, y’all.

I guess I just need to figure it out through trial and error, like everything else in life.

Rambles

It’s Sunday night (boo!), but I don’t have to go back to work until Tuesday (yay!). I’m on a freezer cooking tear, because I want to have some stuff on deck for the nights when I don’t feel like cooking. I have half a batch of pasta bake in the freezer already; I’m making beef stew and dough for dinner rolls right now. Last night I roasted two chickens and stripped the meat for…something. I haven’t decided yet. Probably chicken noodle soup, chicken pot pie, and maybe enchiladas or taquitos? I also need to catch up on making baby food. I have apples, green beans, and sweet potatoes waiting! I guess I will spend most of tomorrow in the kitchen.

I didn’t get very much writing done during my break from work, but I did get some (YA) reading done! I finished Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher in less than 24 hours; it was such a page turner. I feel like there’s nothing left to say about it that hasn’t already been said. It was deeply affecting and so well-plotted and paced. I originally went to the bookstore to pick up Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler’s new book, The Future of Us, but it’s still in hardcover, and I am kind of allergic to buying hardcover books, heh. I think I’ll save it for my Kindle app. Also, my sister lent me her set of the Hunger Games trilogy, and I’m halfway through The Hunger Games right now. The violence has made me nauseated several times so far, hahaha. I am such a wimp! But I’m sticking it out, because Katniss is such an awesome character, the story is so mesmerizing, and I know that the rest of the books can’t be as bloody as the first one, right? Right??

I’m very excited for 2012, as long as it’s not the end of the world and all. My husband and I have a lot of great things planned for  this year, and it will be our first full year as a 3-person family with Cara. Bring it!!

Friday Five

1. Oh lordy I have so much to do today. The family gets here tomorrow, and I still have to clean the house, get some more baking done, and oh yeah, entertain the baby all day. Yes, I should be doing something now (instead of blogging) while the baby is back down for her post-milk snooze, but I’m still drinking my coffee!

2. She was a nightmare to get down last night. A NIGHTMARE. 90 minute screaming fit, anyone? And she totally fooled me too! She dozed off while I was nursing her around 7:30, so I put her to bed. As I laid her down, she woke up and squawked at me a little bit, but she still seemed sleepy; I thought she would be off to dreamland again after a few minutes. I was so sure that I even opened myself a beer as I got my dinner plate ready. Ha. Ha. Ha. After babbling loudly for a while, she turned absolutely inconsolable which started the crying/screaming. We took turns holding her until I finally got her to go back to sleep by, what else, nursing her. I don’t think she was hungry…she didn’t drink very much. I think she just needed to calm the fuck down. I was ready for another beer at that point, but instead I made seven layer bars! Little stinker totally slept through the food processor whizzing as I made graham cracker crumbs.

3. I finished Lola and the Boy Next Door earlier this week. I liked it a lot, possibly more than I liked Anna. I’m definitely more of a Cricket girl than a St. Clair girl. My one issue with it was (slight spoiler alert!) was how sexy sexytime it got in the last chapter. I dunno, I’m definitely a prude about some stuff, but I thought it was pretty clear that the only thing that stopped them from totally doing it in an alley at night in the middle of winter was the complications presented by Lola’s dress. Making out for the first time in a park, like in Anna? Totally awesome and hot. Nearly having sex for the first time with your new boyfriend in a gross alley while standing up, like in Lola? Not…as…hot.

4. Ok coffee is done, I need to wrap this up!

5. Merry Christmas everyone! I may not have the time to totally enjoy everything that the season has to offer this year, but I feel very blessed to share it with my daughter, who does not yet know to expect presents and will be thrilled to play with all of the wrapping paper, my husband, who asked for Battlestar Gallactica merch for his presents this year, I do love him so, and my family, who will no doubt find my house very boring after being at Disney World this past week.

Friday Five

1. I found this fantastic list of synonyms for “said” the other day. It is now in my bookmark hall of fame.

2. I took my dogs to doggy daycare yesterday; they also got a bath, because we’re lazy and bathing ourselves and a tiny human on a consistent basis is just about all the bathing we can handle. Anyway, the dogs smell delicious after they get baths there, so I asked the woman who checked me out which shampoo they use. It turns out that their shampoo has almost no odor at all; however, the doggy cologne they use at the end of every grooming session has a delightful scent. But yeah, I’m not spending $10 on cologne for my dogs. Sorry pups.

3. I know that I am in a super minority on this, but I thought that Diablo Cody’s movie Jennifer’s Body was genius. A horror movie about a toxic friend who becomes a literal demon?! C’mon! Gold, baby, gold! Because I hold her writing in such high regard, I really want to see Young Adult now. I have a fascination with stories about mentally ill people who are so deep in denial that they can’t see how cray-cray they are, and I always love a good tale of misplaced obsession. But I probably won’t actually see it until it’s on DVD, because getting out to the movie theater is pretty rare these days.

4. The weather here is so. effing. warm. right now. I don’t expect to get white Christmases in Atlanta, but I don’t think it’s irrational to expect some chilly weather in the run-up to the big day. Looks like we’ll be in the 60′s for all of next week. Blah.

5. Counting today, I only have 4 more days of work until we’re off for the holidays. We don’t go back until January 3rd. Wheee! I can’t wait for lots of family and writing time!

Tags: Friday Five

More Tales of Epic Failure

I woke up this morning an hour early to get some writing done, and I managed to add a whopping 25 words to my work in progress. My writing session spreadsheet now has a column for “Comments” and next to today’s session it says “WOW great job.” I should probably change it to sarcasm font.

I think the real problem is that for the past few days, I have been obsessed with a short story that I wrote in mid-2010. I looked at it for the first time in forever on Monday, thinking it would suck and I would probably delete it. But I kinda fell in love with it again and started editing and polishing  it. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing–any time spent writing is good in my opinion. But it does nothing to help further my goal of finishing the first draft of my WIP. And due to the personal nature of the short story in question, I would never consider even trying to get it published anywhere. So it’s kind of a waste of time. I need to get my head out of that story and back into my WIP.

Oh how I wish I had spent that hour this morning sleeping!!

–

I think the Ryan Gosling “Hey girl” meme is getting a little played out, but the new YA-related one is pretty amusing.

Yeah, that is pretty much every main character I will ever write about. Times infinity.

Tags: Writing

Fail early, fail often

This morning I saw that tweet from actor Kal Parekh–you may know him as Sanjeev, the long suffering flight navigator, on Pan Am– and promptly retweeted it. It really spoke to me, not just because my husband, mother, even Steve Jobs, have all been trying to drill this fact into my head for the past few years, but also because of the writing I did over the weekend.

I did manage to wake up before the baby both days this weekend and get some writing done in the wee small hours. I added just over 1K words to my work in progress. And I felt REALLY good about what I had written–the scene I was working on took a different direction than my original plan, but I loved where it moved the story. Last night, when the baby was asleep and the husband and I were chillin’ on the couch by the light of the Christmas tree, I skimmed over my new additions to the manuscript. And, uh, it was not as good as I thought. Some of the dialogue was clunky. My main character said a few things that made her sound like an annoying goody-two-shoes. My descriptive narration needed some serious work.

And then the negativity started. “Oh GOD,” I thought to myself. “You suck at this. You are kidding yourself dude; you think you can do this for real? Come on! You might as well pack it up and realize that you’re going to be an average nobody for the rest of your life.” It’s like Gollum lives inside my head, you guys. I had to stop reading and put my computer away for a little while.

But then I realized, fuck that shit! No writer in the history of the universe has ever pumped out perfection in the first draft. Every writer starts out as a failure, and every published book is the result of revision after revision. And even if what I had written did suck, who cares? I got out of my bed and did something that made me happy; I got a little lift from my writing that kept me going all day. Even if nothing ever comes of my work in progress, at least I am nurturing my art, something that makes me a happier, better person. I may be getting it wrong now, but I know I can get right eventually. It will take lots of revising, but I’ll get there.

Tags: Writing

Friday Five

1. I read this amazeballs blog article by Rachel Aaron about how she increased her writing session word count dramatically. Her theories make a lot of sense, and obviously it worked well for her. I already took one of her tips and created a spreadsheet for myself where I will will track the length of time I spend writing in each session, my word count, and the location, so I can try to identify patterns of when and where I’m the most productive.

2. Speaking of writing sessions, finding the time is getting difficult. My evenings are getting busier as the bambino is eating solids and we’re still nursing. And I am fighting to keep my milk supply up, so I’ve had to add a pumping session after she goes to bed. And there is all of the regular household junk to take care of.  Also I am just plain exhausted by the time evening hits. I’m experimenting with waking up earlier to fit in some writing time. I managed to obey my earlier alarm just once this week, and I got in a good mini-session. I’m really going to try make it work this weekend; maybe wake up at 5 or 5:30, grab some coffee, and hole up in our guest room/office for a few hours before the baby wakes up. Wish me luck!

3. Total TMI: I’m pretty sure I’m about to get my first postpartum period; I am all kinds of crampy today. Kinda weird to feel menstrual cramps for the first time since, oh, August 2010. I had almost forgotten what they felt like. Bring on the advil!

4. Despite the cramps, I am kind of relieved, because it’s pretty common for your first period to cause a milk supply dip. I hope that is all that’s going on, and I will return to my normal milk production soon. I burned through my frozen milk stash in the past week, and I was thisclose to having to supplement one of her daytime bottles with formula this morning. I’m glad that today is Friday, and I can catch up over the weekend. I’m so excited to spend lots of quality time with my pump! </sarcasm>

5. I think my husband has totally gotten in my head and infected me with a love of Taylor Swift. You guys, I never wanted this to happen! I caught myself singing The Story of Us in the shower the other day. Sigh. I do really like the lyrics of the chorus. It captures the queasiness you feel when you’re on the cusp of an unexpected breakup so well. When both of you don’t know how the hell you got there, but you know what’s going to happen, and you’re too scared to vocalize it just yet:

Now I’m standing’ alone in a crowded room and we’re not speaking
And I’m dying to know, is it killing you like it’s killing me, yeah
I don’t know what to say,
Since the twist of fate when it all broke down
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now

Have a great weekend!

Tags: Friday Five

Friday Five

1. The baby started eating solids after we got back from our Thanksgiving trip on Saturday. Nothing much yet; I’ve attempted to feed her 1 tablespoon of sweet potato puree every evening. A lot less than that actually made it into her mouth and was then, presumably, digested. Even so, her shit just got real y’all. Dirty diapers are so gross now! Breast milk poop doesn’t smell bad, and it’s super easy to clean up since it’s so liquid-y–most of it gets absorbed into the diaper. With the introduction of solid foods, those halcyon days have passed. This morning was the first time I gagged while changing her diaper. When exactly can we start potty training?

2. She’s had a few crying fits this week, which normally she doesn’t do very often. I think she’s been having some tummy issues as she adjusts to the new food. Poor baby. I hope it will settle down a bit now that she’s getting used to it. Today she’s going to try some butternut squash, yum!

3. Speaking of kids, I noticed an interesting trend (okay, not really a trend, probably just a minor coincidence) in the obituaries this week. Yes, I skim the obituaries every morning, what of it?! Two women over the age of 100 passed away in the Atlanta area recently. The only common denominator I could find between them was that neither had children. Do children age us prematurely? I have found some grey hairs since I had the baby, and don’t even get me started on my fun new body stuff since pregnancy. I suppose the argument could also be made that not having kids leaves you with more time to be active and social, which definitely does help you live longer. Ah, the things we do to propagate our species, eh?

4. Apparently there have been changes to the Catholic mass recently? I just heard about this. Since I decided not to raise the baby Catholic, I haven’t had much interest in going to church. This makes me feel firmer in my decision not to bring her up in the church; I don’t want to be a part of it if the mass is getting more conservative, since the mass was pretty much the only thing that I still loved about Catholicism.

5. I’ve been slowly getting back into the groove of cooking more. My interest in cooking took a nosedive when I got pregnant last year; I was too nauseated in the beginning to even think about being in the kitchen. We never really recovered after we got into the habit of ordering out way too much. But I’m happy to be getting back into the swing of things now; I made dinner THREE whole times this week, and I have meals planned for the next few nights too. Also, I’m hoping to make some freezer meals over the weekend, so we’ll have back up on the nights I don’t feel like cooking.

Have a faboo weekend!!

Tags: Friday Five

Relaxation

Relaxation is elusive when you have an infant. But I think I discovered the secret! Stay at someone else’s house for a little while. We’re at my cousin’s place right now, and we’re having an awesome time. At home when the baby is napping, I have 5 million things I should be doing while I have some time to myself. So I either do them or procrastinate. Of course, doing chores isn’t very relaxing, and procrastination just makes me feel bad about myself. But here, there is nothing I need to do! On Saturday I spent 1.5 hours watching Food Network just because I could. This was doubly exciting, because we cut the (cable) cord at our house a couple of years ago.

I feel 100% relaxed since the first time we had the baby. I am trying to enjoy it as much as possible, because I know it sure as hell isn’t going to last. Now if you excuse me, I am going go snuggle up with the dogs on my cousin’s ultra-comfy couch and read until the baby wakes up from her morning nap.